


Leave It to the Professionals

by Idiot_the_Jerk



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: AU I suddenly made of the Light Minasae and the Slow Descent Into Madness fanfic, Ghost!Light, Kyoya becomes friends with a ghost, Kyoya lies...like a lot, Kyoya's lies will eventually bite him in the ass, Light's dead, Maybe I'll actually finish this one, OOC host club, bless Jack's soul, even though she's pissed he lying, i was listening to the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack when I decided to do this, so i guess it's mildly inspired by Dear Evan Hansen, story starts after chapter 5 of the original story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-04-23 12:34:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14332575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idiot_the_Jerk/pseuds/Idiot_the_Jerk
Summary: Kyoya's reasonably confused when he ends up being the only person who can see his newly dead classmate. Watch as the normally cool host lie his way into a pit in attempt to keep everyone from learning the truth.(Read as: Light's dead and Kyoya tries to cover his ass)





	1. Starting Today, You're a Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> O O F.

 

Kyoya Ootori started his day like any other. He’s woken up by Tamaki pestering him, despite the fact Tamaki knows Kyoya constantly stays up until the early hours of the morning doing work for school and financing the host club. He grooms himself into the perfect Ootori image and puts on his Ouran Uniform and he starts putting his school supplies in his bag.

 

What he doesn’t expect is to see Light Minasae in his bedroom. The girl is visibly confused, and looks like she’s on the verge on a panic attack. She turned to Kyoya, “What the fuck am I doing here?” she asked.

 

“I was about to ask that question to you. How did you even get in here?” Kyoya asked, dropping his school bag.

 

“I don’t...I don’t fucking know. The last thing I remember is…” Light paused. A look of horror washed over her face moments later. “Oh my fucking god…” she whispered, running a hand through her hair.

 

“Minasae-san I don’t understand what’s going on.” Kyoya said, walking towards her.

 

“NO!” Light yelled, holding her hands in front of her. Kyoya stopped in place. There’s definitely something wrong with her, and he wishes she’d be quieter. He can’t have the rest of his family, or the staff noticing that someone had broken into his room the previous night. (At strange decision on Minasae-san’s part.)

 

His bedroom door opened. Kyoya doesn’t have the time to usher Light away and turned to the maid. Either she doesn’t notice Light or doesn’t care because the she doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised.

 

“Ootori-sama your father wishes to speak to you before you head off to school.” the maid said.

 

Kyoya cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses. The light shined off his glasses masking the slight worry that’s still in his eyes. “Thank you. I will be there shortly.”

 

The maid wringed her hands. She looked like she wanted to ask him something.

 

“What is it?” he asked.

 

“Ootori-sama. Why were you talking to yourself? Are you feeling alright? I can tell your father you’re unwell.” the maid asked.

 

For a moment he looked to where Light stood. She looked up from the ground and shook her head quickly. 

 

“No one. As I said before, I will meet my father in one moment.” he said. 

 

The maid bowed and closed the door. 

 

Kyoya returned his attention the visibly distressed, and slightly guilty looking Light. He opened his mouth to ask how the maid didn’t notice her but is beaten to speaking by Light.

 

“Kyoya I’m dead.” she said bluntly.

 

“What do you mean you’re dead?” he whisper-yelled.

 

“I’m dead. Not alive. Away from the land of the living. My time has stopped. Game over. Other paraphrases for death that you know.” Light replied.

 

“Alright, Minasae-san,  _ how  _ are you dead? And why are you here?” Kyoya asked.

 

“I don’t...I don’t remember. I don’t know.” she replied.

 

“How do you not remember how you’re dead but know you’re dead?!” Kyoya asked incredulously.

 

“What other reason do I have to suddenly be in your house?! Can we talk about this later?” Light asked, fiddling with the sleeve of her hoodie. SHe apparently died sometime after returning home.

 

Kyoya knew his father was waiting for him so he had to agree. He didn't want to anger his father.

 

“Stay here.” he said.

 

“Kyoya I’m a ghost. If I go somewhere no  one’s going to see me.” Light deadpanned.

 

Kyoya adjusted his glasses again. He straightened out his uniform before turning and exiting the door.

 

-

 

Light didn't really know what to do. She was dead, albeit by accident. None of her friends knew it was an accident. Kyoya knew but he wasn't exactly her friend. She could only assume what her friends thought the case of her death was. 

 

Did they even think she was dead yet? Maybe they'd think she stayed over at Kyoya’s place doing work extremely late into the night. She hoped that was the case.

 

~~ She knew it wasn’t. They definitely thought she killed herself. ~~

 

What exactly was she supposed to do now that she was dead. What was she supposed to get Kyoya to say? He didn't like her that much so he'd probably twist her words around to make it sound like she meant to die.

 

Was she supposed to hang around Kyoya for the rest of his life? Weird. And not something she particularly wanted to do. There definitely had to be a reason why death wasn't just an endless void of darkness.

 

Maybe all she had to do was get Kyoya to explain her death to her friends and everything would just cease to exist. She'd be fully dead and never see anything ever again.

 

Yeah that was probably it.

 

Kyoya returned to his room ten minutes later and resumed gathering his school supplies as if he didn't notice her. She knew he did because over the glare of his glasses his eyes kept flickering over to herself.

 

“You realize you're going to have to tell everyone I’m dead, right?” she asked.

 

Kyoya continued to ignore her, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He turned to the exit without sparing her any acknowledgement.

 

“Kyoya you need to do this.” Light said.

 

“I'm aware of that. I will do it later before before hosting hours. Now if you'll excuse me.” Kyoya replied, walking towards the door.

 

Light rolled her eyes and walked after Kyoya. She needed to make sure he didn't completely screw up this explanation. If anything he's need her help because she was the only one who could explain the situation. The part about him being able to see her wasn't necessary.

 

-

 

“Kyoya! Why didn't you answer my messages. They were important!” Tamaki said, running over to the Vice President waving his arms madly.

 

“Tamaki please. You don't need to make a scene. I was speaking to my father this morning.” Kyoya replied.

 

“You were also talking to a ghost.” Light threw in, standing behind Tamaki. She grinned madly at Kyoya, enjoying the fact he was trying not to answer her.

 

“What is the issue Tamaki?” he asked.

 

“According to the lovely Penny, Light went missing some time last night.” Tamaki whisper-shouted.

 

Kyoya looked around the hallway, making sure no one heard Tamaki say anything. 

 

“Tell him the truth, Kyoya. I can see you're about to lie.” Light said.

 

“I haven't heard anything.” Kyoya lied.

 

“Kyoya what the fuck are you doing?” Light yelled.

 

“My darling daughter must have been kidnapped! Kyoya we must find her!” Tamaki yelled, seemingly about to take off towards the school’s exit.

 

Light’s palm smacked against her face. She groaned loudly, dragging her hand down her face.

 

“Tamaki lower your voice. I doubt that's the case. I can send my private police force to search for her.” Kyoya replied, sending a small glare to Light. 

 

She raised an eyebrow in response. “You're sending you private police force on a wild goose chase to find a dead girl. Jesus Christ Kyoya, just tell the fucking truth. Why are you doing this?”

 

“Y-you will?” Tamaki asked, blinking quickly. The puppy dog eyes were strong, Kyoya couldn't say no. He'd already started the lie he had to finish it.

 

Light groaned again in response, saying something about how he had turned from the smartest in the class to the biggest fucking idiot in the universe.

 

Tamaki, with new hope in his eyes and soul, ran off presumably to tell the rest of the host club and Light’s friends. Once he was gone, and most students cleared the hallway Light turned to Kyoya crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“What the  **_fuck_ ** was that?! You're only making it worse for when people find out I’m dead!” Light yelled.

 

“What am I supposed to say, Minasae-san? The host club’s business will be ruined if-”

 

“Kyoya they're going to find out I’m dead eventually why the fuck are you prioritizing your stupid club over the truth. This is going to bite you in the ass. You're smarter than this!” Light yelled.

 

“I'm doing what I can to preserve their feelings before they find the truth out.” Kyoya replied, resuming his walk to class.

 

“They're only going to be angry with you when they find out the truth!” Light yelled, following behind him.

 

“I will deal with the consequences when that happens. Until then it will give everyone peace of mind.” Kyoya replied.

 

Light’s frustrated yell followed his response. She read used to speak to him for the rest of the to class.

 

To be honest he actually had no idea why he lied to Tamaki. Maybe it was because of the sad puppy dog eyes his blonde friend gave him, or because he knew he'd absolutely destroy everyone’s spirits if he told the truth. He didn't really know. It was a spontaneous decision.

 

And he was regretting it.

 

He'd never admit that to Light.

 

She followed him into class, sitting in the desk she'd normally occupy with her arms crossed across her chest. Every now and again she'd send a glare his way but spent most of her time sulking. A couple of times she tried to get Penny’s attention but it was clear the only person that noticed her was Kyoya.

 

Classes went smoothly enough. Penny must have already discussed with all of their sensei’s the situation  ~~ as Kyoya put it  ~~ so none of them questioned it.

 

By the time hosting hours started, most of their clients were curious to know where Light was. Kyoya explained to them as vaguely as possible the situation. A lot of them went over to the table that was normally shared by her and Jack to console the visibly anxious third year. The ghost girl’s anger in Kyoya only grew when she saw the expression on her best friend’s face. 

 

Throughout the entirety of hosting hours she did not stop pestering him to tell the truth. He continued to ignore her, calculating the loss of income they were going to receive from Light’s absence, something that continued to anger her.

 

At the end of hosting hours Kyoya found that Light had completely disappeared. It was understandable that she didn’t want to see him anymore, given the amount of false hoped he’d pumped into everyone during the day. He wasn’t exactly sure when he’d see her again...if he’d see her again. 

  
He did end up sending the Black Onion Squad on a search for her. He stretched the truth slightly, starting that she was missing rather than confirmed dead and in need of finding a body. Kyoya could only assume it was the way to completely put her soul at rest  ~~ and ultimately leave him alone . ~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light isn't completely stupid. Just mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing.

Ouran Academy had a Black Magic Club. How did Light forget they had a Black Magic Club at school?  _ Ally was in that club. _

 

Trying to communicate through them seemed like both a good and a bad idea. For one she could clear up with everyone she was dead...but that’d probably create more questions than answers. Another problem was she wasn’t even sure if it would work.

 

From what she heard from Ally, the most the Black Magic club tried to do was summon demons and fail horribly. It didn’t sound like something very helpful.

 

_ Don’t knock it until you try it, you dead shitbag. _

 

**_Thanks, me._ **

 

_ No problem. _

 

The perfect opportunity struck when the twins started an argument over  pretty much nothing  wanting to go to Haruhi’s house and getting ‘offended’ when she told them apart. 

 

_ What the fuck kind of logic is that? Not to self: haunt the twins for a bit. _

 

Nekozawa had even made his grand introduction to Haruhi during this entire mess so she even knew where to find him. Awesome.

 

Apparently the Black Magic Club’s meeting room was actually right beside the host club. How convenient. How she’d never noticed the visibly different door, she couldn’t tell you. Maybe it just appeared whenever it wanted to...kind of like Nekozawa.

 

She walked through the door to the Black Magic clubroom and waited for something to happen. The room was dimly lit by candles and if she hadn’t been forced to watch millions of terrible cliche horror movies it would have been considered spooky. Light was pretty sure there was a pentagram on the floor

 

Nekozawa was in the corner being comforted by a dark haired girl and an older bald man wearing a black suit. Ally was nowhere to be seen, widening Light’s window of opportunity. Maybe Nekozawa cancelled their club meeting because of the twins.

 

_ Yeah you should definitely try to haunt the twins for a bit. It’ll be funny. _

 

The girl froze for a moment, turning to look around the room. 

 

“What is it, Reiko?” Nekozawa asked.

 

“I sense...a dark presence in the room.” the girl, Reiko apparently, replied.

 

“Geez I know I’m an asshole but is saying dark presence really necessary?” Light asked.

 

Nekozawa rose from the floor, his previous terrified demeanour was replaced by child-like glee. He clapped his hands together excitedly, shouting, “Is it true? Has a demon finally graced us with his or her presence?”

 

Light’s hand slapped against her face. This was going to be futile.

 

“Kadomatsu grab the Ouija board! We’re talking to a demon!” Nekozawa yelled.

 

“Oh my fucking god…” Light groaned.

 

Could she even touch the stupid thing? Was this worth it? The third year was relying on a Ouija board no wonder they were unsuccessful in practicing dark magic.

 

Kadomastsu reappeared in the room holding a Ouija board. He set it on the floor in the middle of the pentagram. Nekozawa and Reiko sat cross-legged under it, Light sat on the other side muttering about how fucking stupid she thought this was.

 

“Oh demon-sama. We come to you today wondering what message you could possibly have for our humble Black Magic Club. I am Umehito Nekozawa, what may we call you?” Nekozawa dramatically asked.

 

He stared down at the wooden triangle waiting for it to move. Light rolled her eyes and smacked her hand onto the board, expecting nothing to happen. She was surprised when the triangle actually jumped.

 

Nekozawa let out a shriek of joy.

 

More gently this time, Light held onto the triangle. Should she give them a pseudonym? Or maybe tell them the truth. To be completely fair, the name her parents gave her was a lot more common than what she was named now. And putting that in wouldn’t be a lie.

 

Did Ally know her actual name?

 

Why was she questioning this she wanted everyone to know she was dead.

 

“Oh fuckerations.” Light groaned, realizing she’d been moving the triangle the entire time.

 

Since she was thinking of her given name, despite it being something she hadn’t called herself in ages, Light could see herself giving the ending of it.

 

“I see you’re not from around here, demon-sama., or as I should call you, Irene-sama.” Nekozawa replied.

 

**I  A M  N O T  A D E M O N**

 

“My apologies, Irene-sama. If you’re not a demon, what are you?” Nekozawa asked.

 

**A  D E A D  T E E N A G E R**

 

“Oh…”

 

**A L S O  I W E N T  T O T H I S  S C H O O L**

 

“You’ve studied at Ouran Academy? My apologies for assuming you were a foreigner. I assumed because your name isn’t Japanese you weren’t…”

 

**N E K O Z A W A  S E N P A I P L E A S E  S H U T U P**

 

Nekozawa stared at the wooden plank for a moment. The ghost knew his name...and she called him senpai. The ghost knew who he was and his age. Either she’d been watching him for a long time or Irene-sama hadn’t been a ghost for very long. 

 

His excitement over finally meeting some kind of other-worldly being drained, becoming more serious in his questioning. Something was off about...Irene…

 

“How did you know my name?” he asked.

 

**T H I N K  A B O U T IT**

 

**I S N T  I T W E I R D  H O W I K N O W  W H O Y O U A R E  A N D A S E C O N D  Y E A R S T U D E N T I S  M I S S I N G**

 

“Suoh-san has mentioned that one of his fellow hosts has gone missing. What are you implying Irene-sama?” Nekozawa asked, wanting to confirm his suspicions of ‘Irene-sama’

 

**I M  D E A D  N E K O Z A W A  A N D K Y O Y A W O N T  A D M I T I T**

 

So it was Minasae…

 

“Can Ootori-san see you? Why doesn’t he want people to know?” Nekozawa asked.

 

**YES**

 

**B E C A U S E  O F P E O P L E S  F E E L I N G S**

 

“Wouldn’t lying just make it worse?”

 

**T H A T S  W H A T I S A I D**

 

“I’m sure you’ve heard of how unsuccessful the Black Magic Club is. If I tell everyone the truth I don’t know if people will believe me.”

 

**I  T H O U G H T  T H I S W A S S T U P I D  B U T I S T I L L T R I E D  I T**

 

“I suppose I can.” Nekozawa said thoughfully.

 

“May I ask one last question?” 

 

**S U R E**

 

“Why Irene?

 

**A S K  M Y P A R E N T S**

 

“Light isn’t your birth name, is it?”

 

**T H A T S  T W O Q U E S T I O N S**

 

**A N D  N O I T  I S N T**

 

“I must apologize for my enthusiasm then. If I had known the ghost gracing our presence was someone I had known when living I wouldn’t have gotten so excited.” 

 

**I T S  B E T T E R  T H A N L Y I N G  T O E V E R Y O N E**

 

The door to the Black Magic Club opened. An exasperated looking Ally stepped inside the room, slamming the door shut.

 

“What are you doing with the Ouija board? Did you finally summon something?” Ally asked.

 

**N E K O Z A W A  I S W E A R T O  F U C K**

 

“Ah my dear friend Ally, a ghost has finally presented itself to our humble club. It would just so happen that she’s-”

 

The door slammed open. Tatania stood at the door loudly singing Smash Mouth, her leg still in the air from kicking the door in. Light slapped her hand against her face groaning loudly. Why the fucking fuck was this happening to her?

 

“Tatania for the last time you can’t join the Black Magic Club if all you want to do is smooch a ghost. Piss off.” Ally yelled.

 

“My dreams will be a reality Ally! Just you wait!” Tatania yelled, attempting to dab with her legs. She fell on the floor, writhing in discomfort.

 

Ally sighed, rolling their eyes back to Nekozawa. “Tell me about the ghost later.” They proceeded to drag Tatania out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

 

Light stood in slack jawed awe at the scene. It seemed the world was against her, no one would ever figure out she was actually dead until Kyoya told them. Nekozawa was probably going to be interrupted every time he tried. Resistance was futile.

 

“Motherfucker…” Light whispered.

 

-

 

Kyoya looked up from his laptop, taking a moment to watch the ghost girl attempt to flip his table. Being a ghost this obviously didn’t work out too well and her hands would continuously pass through the table, only frustrating her more.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked. 

 

“How is it that the one other person that can possibly help me get out of this absolute shitfest had that opportunity ruined?” she yelled.

 

“Are you always like this? It’s quite bothersome.” Kyoya said.

 

“Gee I wonder how you could possibly get rid of the ghost of your dead classmate? The one only you and Nekozawa know are dead.” Light sarcastically yelled back.

 

Kyoya paled slightly. “What?” he asked.

 

“Unlike most people at this school I’m not a complete fucking idiot. Nekozawa knows I’m dead. He got interrupted by Tatania screaming the lyrics to Smash Mouth before he could tell Ally.” Light replied, crossing her arms.

 

The Ootori family had enough money to pay Nekozawa off to stay silent, Kyoya knew that. Despite how much he wanted to pay off his occult loving senpai, Light following him around would make that impossible, and it’d only make the situation worse. If he wanted to keep his charade up, he’d have to do something more conspicuous to keep Nekozawa from blabbing.

 

Perhaps Tatania would come of use.

 

Kyoya began devising a plan, something that he’d have to put into action when Light wasn’t around. It was difficult thinking of something to say when the Black Onion Squad did eventually find Light’s body...if they did. Having the ghost girl screaming lyrics to a vulgar song didn’t help at all, though Kyoya suspected that was the point.

 

Eventually Kyoya slammed his pen down on the table, irritated. “Do you mind?”

 

Light pretended to have a thoughtful look on her face, contemplating whether it was too much. “Nope.”

 

She resumed her loud singing without skipping a beat.


End file.
